You should be relieved to know that approaching a beautiful woman, even a 10 on the scale of hotness, is not really about looks, money or even charm. Just like happiness, approaching a gorgeous woman and making a great impression is all a “state of mind.”
State of Mind Vs Appearance
You’ve probably had this problem before. You’ve read attraction forum theory and know what you should be saying. However, when you actually do approach someone “out of your league” (or so your subconscious mind says) you feel great anxiety. You stutter over your words, your heart rate increases, your voice gets a note higher, and suddenly you’re like Jay Leno without any cue cards!
This alone is proof that approaching woman is all about the internal process, not just “appearances” for appearance’s sake. You must mentally prepare yourself and, more to the point, subconsciously prepare yourself for dialog with the opposite sex.
2 Approaching Mistakes
A lot of guys make one of two mistakes when approaching attractive women. They either approach without any game plan whatsoever, and play the fool, or they put on an “act” of fake confidence or perhaps even aggressive behavior. (And this may or may not work depending on how great of an “actor” you are)
However, the best strategy in an approach is to prepare your state of mind so that you can give a “real presentation” of your bad ass self. Think “method acting” not hammy acting, as in you become the cool, suave guy you already are deep down. You’re not pretending anymore. You are calm. You are in the moment. You are this girl’s best catch ever!
What you need to do now (before you go on) is find a way to release that approach anxiety. First, understand that women can sense fear. Rest assured, beautiful women are hit on all the time and have had their share of shy nice guy approaches. They recognize the signs. Hesitation. Working up the courage. Cutely stumbling over their words. They know your type immediately. So your motivation here is to eliminate all those signs of “nervous nice guy” and instead start focusing on creating attraction.
When To Approach
Approach timing is everything…but it’s not about the “right moment.” It’s NOW. Regardless of how you feel, approach fast, as soon as you see the object of your desire. If you’re halfway across the room, across the street, approach anyway. If it’s an awkward moment, approach anyway (and laugh about it later). Because the longer you wait, the more time you have to freak out, build up anxiety, and show the woman unconsciously that you’re afraid of her. In the end you become paralyze with anxiety.
Projecting Confidence
It’s also very important that you show a confident demeanor, in what you say and in how you look. So think about what confidence looks like. People who are strong, romantic and attractive:
- Make direct, unwavering eye contact (direct eye contact is the strongest sign of interest)
- Smile (don’t look like a jerk or a psycho. Have a warm, calm smile like you’re on top of the world)
- Stand up straight (hunchbacks are not attractive…didn’t you see Hunchback of Notre Dame?)
- Breathe calmly (So take a deep breath through your nose and let it out slowly through your mouth and catch your breath before you speak)
- Think calm positive thoughts (let go of negative thoughts and nerves…stop rationalizing why you shouldn’t do it!)
- Imagine in your mind that you’ve already had sex with her…tell your mind and body that you are already in a calm and satisfied state.
- Talk slower than normal so that you don’t stutter or appear more nervous
Conversation Starter
Now strategize. The best conversation starters are the ones that flow naturally and are about something that is currently happening around the two of you. So take into account where you are and make a joke or an observation about it.
The main point though is the state of mind. Dominate your territory. Be a strong, confident man and stop letting the idea of a beautiful woman terrorize you!
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