Learning from our mistakes is how we learn in life, but sometimes we don’t realize the mistakes we make if we can’t identify them.

Below are the common mistakes that I’ve seen and personally made myself. Being aware of my action and behavior that may mimic any of the mistakes listed was the first key step to improvement with women.

 

1. Being a Nice Guy: “But I’m a Nice Guy”

I’m naturally a nice guy. I treat girls like ladies, the way they should be treated. I’m always their friend and give them the guy’s perspective on things, offer them relationship advice, comfort them when they are sad.

 

What girl wouldn’t fall for that? All girls say they want a nice guy. I’ve acted this way all my life and have placed women before myself. My perception was that she was the prize.

 

A nice guy is typically someone who is on their good behavior, hoping to be liked, cares what other people thinks of him and puts women as a higher value then himself. I learnt that logically women want a guy who they can introduce to their parents, but emotionally they want someone who can spike their emotion by being mysterious, unpredictable, challenging knowing she could lose him at any given moment. She wants someone who she can long for, to swoon and tremble at the knees at the very thought of him, to feel excitement. She won’t get that from her best friend.

 

2. Seek Approval: “Please Like Me… Please”

Truth be told, this was one that I wasn’t too proud off, even during the interaction. I would say to myself “you idiot” because I felt my self worth disappearing.

 

I would always agree with her on everything, so I would be liked. I didn’t have an opinion of my own and would hang around her like a puppy dog, fetching what ever she needed. I had believed there weren’t many options in my life and felt desperate.

 

How did women perceive me? I looked needy, desperate, lack of confidence, and worst.. lack of women in my life, in overall weak which is not very attractive from a women’s point of view.

 

3. Asking too many questions: “What do you do? Where are you from?”

Nervousness plays a big part in asking too many questions. I had asked questions in hope to hit a commonality to extend our conversation. Truth is no one likes being interrogated especially women. Why would they tell their life story to a stranger or someone they just met or don’t know yet. I came across as boring, unintelligent, nervous and worst, the same as all other guys who did the same.

 

4. Bragging: “My Ferrari is parked outside”

Ok..I don’t own a Ferrari but sometimes I say things that may seem like I’m are bragging; it maybe on purpose or subconsciously but regardless bragging to anyone is just plain lame.

 

But when I did it in front of a girl, my value lowered in her eyes because it seems I was trying too hard to impress her, to get her approval.

 

Bragging big to her like “my Ferrari is parked outside” will give you the same value or worst than saying “My bicycle is chained up by the gate outside”. The late statement will even give you more value due to the humor or honesty.

 

5. Being Negative: “This music sucks, this place sucks, my life sucks”

Negativity can kill the mood or interaction instantly. She doesn’t want to hang around someone that tells her how tough the world can get. It just only demonstrate that you are not coping well with today’s reality. She doesn’t want a guy who can’t provide for her emotionally or worst drain her from it.

 

6. Being Boring: “And I name this cat mixxi, and I have a level 45 warlock on world of warcraft” 

One of the killer of the interaction. Makes poking your eye with a pencil 100 time more fun. I bet you, most of us are not boring people, it’s just our communication are not developed properly.

 

Women want a man that can spike her emotion with humor, interesting stories and a snippet of your life.

 

7. Not Seeking Help: “I don’t need to, they will like me for me” 

Attraction is just like most things in life, it can be learned and if you are reading this then you are already heading in the right step. Learning this is not about attracting every girl you see, it’s not about lying or changing yourself completely. It’s about transforming your mental state and appreciation about women. It’s about presenting your true self in the best possible way. You wouldn’t go into an interview without preparation, why would you try attract a women without being prepared.

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